Here I am, sitting in the conference room of my highschool. It's dull, but at least I get access to a laptop, and my music. The only thing I find solice in anymore. Simon and I are fine, but I don't get to see him nearly as often as I should. He's off to Prince George this weekend for some sort of exchange student retreat. He's been at home less and less lately, thus meaning that we have less time to talk. I understand though, he has his own life, of which I happily watch him lead. It makes me happy knowing that he has a completely functional life, in which he basks in relentlessly. He's so strong emotionally, and that's possibly why I'm so deeply in love with the man. Now, you may argue than I myself am far too immature and young to understand fully what love really means and extends to, but I'm pretty sure I have a better understanding than most.
In other news,
My life is crumbling faster than 90 mph. For starters, my very best friend was unexpectedly plucked out of my hands and placed in the ED center for the remainder of the school year, which is approx. 6 weeks or so. Six weeks that I am left completely defenseless and alone. Everyone around me has given up pretty fast. That's alright, I predicted it from the beginning. At the moment, the school counsellor is figuring out how to take me out of Math, and put me in a simpler course, for Math is far too trivial and tedious for my tastes. It's become more of a burden than a helpful life skill. I don't see it's use where I'm going. It's a daunting thought that lingers like a shadow in the back of my mind, but I know that eventually, I will be there. One way or another. Also, my 'friend' decided to play an awful trick on me today. She decided to convince me that she was moving away to Vancouver imminently. And that she was too afraid to tell me before (incidentally, this is the same friend as before who got caught up in drugs). So, when I ran to bathroom to cry, and throw up, someone apparently took notice of my upsetting state. So, Becca walked soulessly to the bathroom, to inform me that it was all just a big joke at my own cost. My feelings of loss were vacantly replaced with complete and utter betrayal, for she knows my deficit with trust. Yet there she was abusing my trust as if it were some helpless little dog. I could only just bring myself to walk away. I have no words for her. And the best part is, (you'll love this) when I proceeded to my first class, she was waiting outside the door, took notice of my presence, and began getting mad AT ME. She had the guts and balls to begin dishing it out to me like some sort of child for something that she decided to do so foolishly. All I could do was continue inside, and fester in my own negative outlook. I hate people. I really do. None of them are worth my time. I can't figure out why I got so upset when I found out she was leaving. Maybe it's because of our long history. Who knows? All I know is that I value my relationships with Simon, Kaleigh, and Andrew. That's all. They're the only ones willing to fight for me, and even then, they can be a lot to handle. But I appreciate their wild spirits.
Until next time.
-Danielle. (aka, Savvie)
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